Uncertainty in Fertility Treatments
In a previous post, we discussed coping with uncertainty during national crises and how uncertainty affects us both personally and collectively. In this post, we will dive into another significant example of uncertainty – the process of fertility treatments. While the struggle with uncertainty during crises is shared by everyone, the struggle women face in fertility treatments is personal and intimate, and usually occurs far from the public eye. We will try to understand how uncertainty accompanies this process and how to cope with it in the best possible way.
Uncertainty in Life
Periods of uncertainty are always challenging, but when it comes to women who are struggling to conceive, uncertainty takes on a deeper, more painful meaning. Many women undergoing fertility treatments experience a never-ending cycle of hope and disappointment, with a prolonged sense of uncertainty about their ability to conceive and become mothers. This is a process that is difficult both physically and emotionally, requiring not only great mental strength but also emotional and professional support.
Uncertainty and Everyday Life
As in the previous article, which dealt with prolonged uncertainty during national crises, uncertainty also plays a central role here. However, there is a significant difference: while in national crises we can rely on our surroundings and community, in fertility treatments, the woman's struggle is her own. It is not a shared issue with others, and she often prefers not to share it at all. This is an intimate and personal matter, and women generally choose to keep it private. Therefore, they endure painful and exhausting processes while continuing to go to work as usual, without telling anyone.
Many women don’t share their pregnancy news during the first three months. Experience shows that many pregnancies end during this period for various reasons beyond control. This is also the time when tests reveal whether the fetus is healthy or has serious defects. When it comes to fertility treatments, the uncertainty is even greater as there is no clear timeline for success, if at all. Privacy in these situations can be beneficial, as it allows women to maintain their routine, which is essential for coping with complex situations.
However, in terms of emotional coping, women often feel very lonely, and the way they deal with it requires different thinking.
The Experience of Failure and Loss of Control
One of the biggest challenges in fertility treatments is the feeling that your body is not under your control. Women undergoing multiple treatments often feel disconnected from their bodies, as if their bodies are "not cooperating." The inability to know whether the treatment will succeed or fail creates a cycle of stress and anxiety. When treatment fails, this feeling is further exacerbated. Even when the woman has done everything right and followed every step of the process, she can still face another failure – intensifying the feeling of helplessness.
The Trauma of Miscarriages
Repeated miscarriages are not just a medical failure – they are a physically and emotionally painful experience. Women who experience miscarriages face deep disappointment, sometimes even a sense of failure with their own bodies. Hope is needed to continue the process, to believe that the next time it will result in pregnancy and a baby. However, it is not always easy to maintain hope and the strength required to continue. Meanwhile, these women, as if living in a parallel world, are expected (or demand of themselves) to continue with their lives as if nothing happened. But the trauma of losing a long-awaited pregnancy, and sometimes the loss of hope, makes it difficult to function as usual. This is expected and understandable – it is simply very hard.
The Loneliness of Fertility Treatments
Many women choose to maintain their privacy during fertility treatments. The desire to avoid invasive questions from family or friends leads them to go through the process alone, without emotional support. In an era where we emphasize the importance of support from others, privacy in such situations becomes a barrier. While in other cases of uncertainty, such as national crises, it is possible to turn to the community for support, women in fertility treatments often find themselves without this network.
Psychological Support as Emotional Relief
Psychological support is essential in complex situations like these, especially during prolonged fertility treatments. These treatments are not only physically taxing but also create emotional stress and anxiety. This is where professional support plays a crucial role, providing a safe space for women to talk about their feelings, release the pain, and find ways to cope with the mental and emotional pressure. The role of psychological counseling is to help women navigate this period, to feel understood, and to create a space where they can express themselves freely, ask questions, and make decisions under the best conditions.
Day-to-Day Coping: Maintaining Emotional Balance
Incorporating tools for maintaining emotional balance is crucial throughout the process. Gentle physical activities, breathing exercises, meditation, music – whether listening or playing an instrument, or even singing – can all help alleviate the mental burden. Women who are accustomed to exercising may not always be able to continue with the same activities, but as much as possible, and depending on what their physical condition allows, it’s beneficial to keep moving. Perhaps yoga, Feldenkrais, or swimming, which can be a great option – offering both aerobic exercise and the calming effect of water – could be good choices.
Conclusion
The struggle with fertility treatments and repeated miscarriages is particularly difficult due to the uncertainty that accompanies it. Each woman experiences this process differently, but it is important to remember that psychological support and emotional care are just as important as the physical treatments. Many women find themselves facing these challenges alone, making it critical to highlight the importance of seeking professional help to maintain mental health and cope with the pain and stress involved.
Bibliography
Greil, A. L., McQuillan, J., & Slauson-Blevins, K. (2011). The experience of infertility: A review of recent literature. Sociology of Health & Illness, 33(1), 1-15.
Gameiro, S., Verhaak, C. M., Kremer, J. A., & Boivin, J. (2013). Why do patients discontinue fertility treatment? A systematic review of reasons and predictors of discontinuation in fertility care. Human Reproduction Update, 19(6), 575-589.
Domar, A. D., & Seibel, M. M. (1997). Emotional aspects of infertility. Journal of Reproductive Medicine, 42(10), 1047-1051.
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