In times of ongoing uncertainty and crises, many women find themselves in the role of emotional support—whether for family, friends, colleagues, or sometimes even strangers. The ability to provide support to others is a valuable asset, but it often comes with a heavy emotional cost. The key question is: how can you remain strong and support others without losing yourself in the process? In this article, we will explore ways to offer effective support while maintaining your personal boundaries.
We're All in This Together
The reality of the past year in Israel has placed many of us in situations where we need to support those around us in ways we may not have experienced before. Whether it's offering comfort to someone who has suffered a loss or being a steady presence for a friend or neighbour going through immense emotional stress, supporting others has become a near-daily task for many. This constant need for support can make it difficult to maintain our own mental well-being.
Support Isn’t Just Words
Supporting others doesn’t always have to come in the form of conversations or advice. Often, true support is found in small actions that bring significant relief. Visiting a friend who needs your presence, accompanying someone to an important appointment, preparing sandwiches for a neighbour’s children while her spouse is away, or simply being there for someone during a difficult time—these small gestures can make a big difference.
Setting Boundaries
To offer meaningful support to others, we must remember to set boundaries for ourselves. This means understanding when to say "enough" and when to take time for self-care. Without setting limits, ongoing support can lead to emotional burnout. Your ability to be there for others in the long term depends on your ability to care for yourself.
Active Listening and Holding Space
Many women feel the need to find solutions to every problem in order to provide adequate support. However, in reality, what most people need is someone who listens and shows that they are truly heard. Active listening means creating space for the other person's emotions without rushing to provide answers or solutions. It’s okay not to have all the answers—sometimes, simply being present and listening with sincerity is enough to ease someone's burden.
Self-Care: Staying Strong for Yourself
As you provide support to others, it’s essential to remember to care for yourself. If you feel emotionally drained, you won’t be able to offer effective support. Self-care practices, such as physical activity, meditation, deep breathing exercises, or even taking a quiet moment to enjoy a cup of tea, are small but vital ways to recharge your energy.
Knowing When to Refer to Professional Help
Supporting others doesn’t always mean you need to handle every problem on your own. Sometimes, the best help you can offer is guiding someone toward professional assistance. In cases where emotional distress is deep or complex, recognizing your limits and helping the person seek professional support can provide them with more focused and effective tools for coping.
Saying "No" Without Guilt
When someone needs help, many women feel they must always be available, but it’s important to remember that setting boundaries is okay. Being able to say "no" without feeling guilty allows you to maintain your strength and protect your own well-being. Remember, your ability to offer support depends on how well you take care of yourself in the long run.
Maintaining Emotional Distance
Especially during times when distress is widespread, it’s important to maintain some emotional distance to avoid burnout. Emotional distance doesn’t mean a lack of care—it means finding balance between empathy and your own personal boundaries. This allows you to protect yourself from the negative effects of prolonged emotional stress.
Conclusion
Supporting others during a time of national or personal crisis is challenging but also vital. The ability to care for yourself while helping others is not only necessary but also gives you the strength to continue over time. Take care of yourself, listen to others, and be mindful of your own needs just as you care for those around you. Together, we can overcome these challenges.
Bibliography
Figley, C. R. (2002). Compassion fatigue: Psychotherapists' chronic lack of self-care. Journal of Clinical Psychology, 58(11), 1433-144
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